December 30, 2009

For those of you who have been following my saga this year, you know that this past June, after 16 months of mostly unsuccessful chemo treatments, I walked away from conventional oncology for good. Since I wasn’t getting any better, and the chemo just made me sick all the time, Amy & I agreed that alternative methods of healing the body were our last option. If we were wrong and I should have died, then it must have been my time.

So for the next 5 months, I worked out diligently, ate a mostly vegetarian diet and religiously drank my MonaVie super juice. But even though I was doing these things that SHOULD help lead to my recovery, I didn’t really believe in my heart that there was anything that could be done. My mind was betraying me and not yet with the program I was trying to run.

One innocent evening in late October, Amy & I took her mother out for a nice Japanese meal. We stopped off for a drink on the way home and then went to drop her off. Upon entering her apartment complex, I started to have excruciating pains under my lower left ribs. I hid the pain as much as I could until Amy’s mom had gone up to her apartment.

When Amy saw me hunched over behind the wheel, she knew something was very wrong. She switched seats with me so I wouldn’t have to drive and got us home immediately. But within 15 minutes of being home, I gave into Amy’s pleas and we went straight to the Emergency Room. I really thought I had ruptured my spleen, a serious and life-threatening injury.

As the E.R. personnel work me over; poking, sticking, CT-Scanning, prodding and what-not, I couldn’t help but wonder if my time was almost up. How much more would I have to go through? Was the end going to be quick like this? Was I ready to say goodbye?

In the end, we determined that my spleen had not ruptured. But looking at the CT’s there was no doubt I had a major issue. The attending physician came into my room and said, “You have the largest spleen I have ever seen! It’s simply enormous.” I tried to act cool. “Why, thank you.”

The folks in the E.R. sent me home with some excellent painkillers and all seem to return to normal.

A couple of days later, I received a copy of the CT Scan results from the hospital, as is standard procedure. As I read the report, I had a strange feeling come over me. I jumped off my couch and retrieved the last CT Scan results I have from 6 months prior, taken at the time I quit chemo.

As I went line-by-line, comparing the two reports, my mind began to race. It seems that not only had the cancer not spread or grown, in some places it had actually shrank! How about that!! Our decision to stop conventional treatment seemed more and more like genius after all. Still, after a fleeting moment of joy, my mind returned to its old stance that I was a goner and it was only a matter of time for me. It’s so hard to permanently change negative thought patterns without the proper insight.

Around this time, I decided to see a new oncologist for a check up. I have to admit, I didn’t do any major research to find him, nor did I take anyone’s recommendation. I still wasn’t convinced that I was going to live much longer, so I wasn’t putting much effort into the task. I simply called an 800# physician referral service for St. John’s Hospital in Detroit and got hooked up with a leading lymphoma expert. What a difference that has made in my life!

After a few appointments and accompanying tests to get a handle on my history, my new oncologist introduced the possibility that my seriously-enlarged spleen may have “gone rouge” and could be removing too many healthy blood cells from my body, thereby causing my debilitating anemia, fatigue and compromised immune system. He was not advocating trying to treat the cancer left in my body at all. His theory for someone with my history is to “leave the patient alone if they feel okay.” I liked this approach very much. Still, I didn’t really “feel okay” because I had anemia and was always, always exhausted.

We went down a path of investigating whether taking my spleen out was the right next step or not. In the end, the tests were inconclusive and my new oncologist said, “Don, while it is certainly probable that your spleen is to blame, I cannot prove it, and therefore I can’t officially recommend that you have this surgery.”

“It’s alright Dr. Al-Katib, I know my body very well at this point. I can feel it. I know that spleen is the cause of my weaknesses. Let’s schedule the surgery ASAP.”

Now I won’t go into the details of the actual surgery because I think that might make an entirely interesting blog on its own. But suffice it to say, it was grueling!

When it was done, my record-setting spleen (5lbs and the size of a football) was removed from its vantage point in my abdomen. And guess what happened? My blood counts all started to soar, immediately, and have since returned to “normal” ranges. I haven’t had normal blood counts in probably 5 years. Can you imagine how happy I am? Can you imagine how grateful I am?

So where does all this leave me as I’m about to turn 39 years old and the world turns the calendar to 2010?

For the last ten years, I have been trying to inspire fellow cancer patients, survivors and loved ones with my Positive Mental Attitude towards survival. But what I’ve come to realize through all of this is that I, myself, have only been “surviving” for the last decade.

So this year, I’ve made a resolution to do more than survive. In 2010, I will THRIVE!

I have decided that I’m going to apply my Positive Mental Attitude to every area of my life, not just to surviving. I’m applying it to my marriage, my financial situation, my employment possibilities, my book This Time’s A Charm; Lessons of a Four-Time Cancer Survivor , my health, my emotional growth, my friends, my family and my relationship with every person I meet.

I want to invite you to join me in my Positive Mental Attitude campaign. Basically, you just relax in your own mind and know, beyond a shadow of a doubt that every area of your life is going to work out just perfectly. There is no reason to worry or become anxious. Your PMA will draw helpful solutions and opportunities to you. Your job is to recognize them and ACT upon them.

Thanks for reading my story update. I’d love to hear back from you about your resolutions and how they’re positively impacting your life and the lives of those around you.

Happy New Year! I’m sending you all prosperity, good health and peace for your soul.