"Borrowed Time"
February 10, 2009
As I was flying down the snowmobile trail last weekend, following my wife Amy, at 80 MPH, I was reflecting on what cancer has taught me. Allow me to share one take I have on it.
It seems to me that cancer has two very different effects on folks, depending on their emotional clarity. When you’re diagnosed with cancer, you can feel like every day is a blessing and it should be cherished. You notice all the little things in life and you take nothing for granted. This is the rosy side of “Borrowed Time.”
But the other, uglier side seems to take grip the longer you’ve had to deal with this stubborn disease. In this case, “Borrowed Time” means you don’t really believe you have a future. You don’t really care what happens next week, or next year. Your focus can become selfish and contaminating in nature. This is something to watch out for.
I think throughout my 4 times with cancer, I started in the previous realm, progressed to the latter, and then eventually came full circle when I got my emotional feet back underneath me.
No matter what cycle you find yourself in, I’m not here to judge you by any means. I’ve got no room to talk. But I do want you to be able to recognize the forest behind the tree. Recognize that cancer will change whomever it touches. But the secret is that WE decide HOW it changes us.
I wanna hear what your experiences have been. Please feel free to "leave a comment” to help others in similar situations.
Yeserrrrrrrrrrrr
I totally agree, but at times think it is even a daily decision or even moment to moment. My will and desire is stronger than some stupid cells who think they're immortal. With that said I still find my mind wanting to play "pity me" sometimes. This to shall pass!
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About Don
Don Wilhelm, author of This Time's a Charm and a 4-time cancer survivor, shares his knowledge and experiences with cancer through this Website.
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Bitter Betty
I definitely agree with the way you defined the emotional effects of cancer. As a four-time Hodgkins survivor, I have experienced both the rosy and the dark sides. It was not so difficult to be positive during the first few occurances, but this fourth time has left me feeling incredibly bitter. I am only 28 and feel that I am going to live a possibly short and lonely life because I am afraid that no one will want to deal with my cancer baggage. I have always hated when people felt sorry for me, but I feel as though I am becoming someone they SHOULD feel sorry for. I'm at a loss as to how to pull myself out of the muck!